In the realm of relationships, it's a 'DUH' moment to state that they require a lot of effort. Anyone who has ever been in this intricate labyrinth of human connections knows this all too well.
The true challenge lies in our tendency to put our needs before those of our partners, friends, or colleagues.
We live in a society that echoes McDonald's "You deserve a break today". But let's get real; we don't inherently deserve anything. What we reap is a direct result of the authentic effort we sow into every facet of life–and relationships are no exception.
Brené Brown, in her powerful talk on vulnerability, underscores the importance of empathy and embracing our vulnerabilities to build deeper connections.
Relationships, at their core, are a two-way street–both partners need to give without expecting anything in return–which stands 100% contrary to our society and what social media tells us, which is also why many are struggling.
How Should You Deal with Conflicts?
Imagine your unresolved issues as bricks, each one adding to a wall between you and your partner. With every conflict that remains unsettled, another brick is added, eventually forming a formidable barrier where no healthy communication or relationships can exist.
Sure you can have a brief cooling-off period, but these issues need to be solved before they solidify into permanent obstacles. Here are some tips from my relationship coach services that you can apply.
Step 1: Address the Issue Sooner Rather Than Later
Conflicts are like smoldering fires; they're best dealt with before they flare up! But remember to let the heat of the moment pass first.
A calm, collected conversation the next day over breakfast, for example, can be much more productive than that heated exchange in the thick of an argument.
Step 2: Say It, Don't Bottle It Up
Imagine surprising your partner with a gift – how will they know about it unless you tell them, right? The same goes for our problems.
If you don't share what's bothering you, expecting your partner to magically understand is unrealistic. Open communication not only reduces arguments but also strengthens your bond.
STEP 3: Practice Holistic Listening
Sit down and create a quiet space where you both can focus on the issue at hand. This isn't just about winning an argument but about understanding each other's perspectives. Pay attention to their words and feelings too.
This is not you versus them—t's both of you versus the problem.
Step 4: Avoid Monopolizing the Solution
I understand. It's sometimes so tempting to impose our perspective and solution onto our partners. However, this approach is often counterproductive.
Instead of adopting a "my way or the highway" attitude, go for a collaborative resolution. Remember, if that "highway" seems like the only alternative to your partner, you might find yourself traveling alone.
Step 5: Break Down Conflicts into Manageable Steps
Much like any mountainous task, conflicts can be easier to handle when broken down into smaller steps.
Suppose you and a friend are at odds over which game to play. Rather than escalating the disagreement, take turns suggesting games. Listen to each other's preferences without getting upset. This approach promotes collaboration and compromise.
The same strategy applies to those more substantial issues. If you're upset with a friend or family member, start by sharing your feelings. Honesty is often appreciated and can pave the way for that mutual understanding and can create room for effective problem-solving.
Wrapping Up
As a relationship life coach, I consider every disagreement as a stepping stone leading us toward an even more robust and resilient partnership. Each quarrel is like a blacksmith's hammer, molding and shaping our relationship into a stronger entity.
And if you still feel lost in the wilderness of these relationship issues, my relationship coaching for men can help.
LET'S TALK. Be bold and courageous, and don't wait another moment. The time is now.
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